Hello 2011, Goodbye 2010

So I found out from two different sources that DH will be coming home a month early.  It was actually in writing that the date had moved up.  Yayyy!!!!  This is fantastic news.  I really hope it's true.

Sooo this means DOM has moved up from 41% to 45%.  In 2 weeks I'll be at 50%. Weeee!!!

I also received news that a bunch of guys are going to NY and Vegas with us for block leave.  The more the merrier!  I have a feeling this year is going to be great!

Bring it on 2011!!!

DOM Check!

The Donut of Misery says…

150 Days - 41% !!!  W00t!!

Soon I'll be at 200 days and on the downhill slope of this deployment! <3

A Little Bit of Everything

I do miss being at my house with all of my things and my friends and routine, but I have enjoyed being at my mom's house.  I like being able to go outside and see Bella and let Jack run around outside.  I enjoy playing games with my brothers and having company while I watch a movie or tv.  It's nice hanging out with my brothers.  It's like they're friends that were born into my life.  I didn't choose them, but they're there.  I may not be super close with them, but I love them and I never feel awkward when I see them no matter how long it's been.

It's weird though.. I thought that the time would go by fast when I came to Arkansas, but it really hasn't.  It's gone pretty slow actually.  Oh well, time IS moving whether it seems like it or not.

I also got some good news from a fellow Army wife =) .  Supposedly her DH is coming home X months earlier than scheduled and DH could possibly be coming home X months early too.  It's not super early, but I'll take what I can get =) .  I do hope he comes home early, but I'm prepared to wait however long it takes.

On another note, DH has been doing OPSEC for the past few days so I haven't been able to talk to him. I don't think I'll be able to talk to him for another couple of days either.  Oh well, I have my family to keep me company.

Oh yea, 3 days 'till 2011!!!

Picture Time!

Here are the pictures I said I'd post and a few others.

                        Jack and Bella

                   Bella at 3 months old - December 27, 2010

                    Highnoon

          Christmas flowers from DH

I Survived

Well, I survived my first Christmas without DH (and hopefully my last).  I usually love Christmas, but I just wasn't feeling it this year.  For once I'm happy it's December 26th.  Now new years, there's something I can celebrate =)

I'm Home!

Or at least my other home =P .  We made it to AR after about a 6 hour drive.  We had to leave later because I waited on my flowers to arrive.  They are so pretty!  Red and white tulips in a red vase with a silver bow on it <3.  They wilted a little on the way here, but I think they'll recover quickly.

Anyway, I went to visit Bella (my mom's calf) once I got here and she has gotten SO big!  It's probably hard to picture, but when I left her she was about 3 weeks old and the size of Jack.  Now she's about the size of, well… a small cow lol.  I also went to visit Highnoon.  He's my favorite horse (out of 6). He's a Morgan horse (for those of you who know anything about horses or who care to google lol) and he's so sweet!  They're all really sweet, but I especially like him because he used to be so shy and he always comes up to me to let me pet him.  I trust him the most and I just love him to bits!

Not much else going on.  I gave my brothers their Christmas gifts early.  I gave my oldest brother, Justin, Bioshock 2 for xbox 360 and my youngest brother, Chris, another xbox controller so he could play with Justin lol.

I also got to talk to DH!  I didn't think I'd get to talk to him until Monday, but he was relieved from duty early =) .  Hopefully I'll continue to be able to talk to him all the way until Christmas.

Anyway, I'm super tired since I went to bed late and woke up early to talk to DH.  Below is a picture of Bella when she was only a couple weeks old.  I'll post a picture later of her current state.

Picture taken:  September 23, 2010

Time For a Little Christmas Bragging

Okay I know it's not nice to brag, but it's alright if I'm bragging on somebody else, right? Haha I thought so.  Anyway, I received a gift from DH today!  I had no idea!  Ok that's a little bit of a lie… I did see the purchase on our online banking statement AND I did receive the shipping info.. But besides that, totally surprised! LOL

Anyway, he got me a diamond necklace <3.  I'm so happy!  That's the last piece of jewelry I needed (I like to have all the bases covered and I usually never take my rings, bracelets, earrings, necklace off).  He picked it out all by himself and it's beautiful!  Awww I can't wait to talk to him and thank him "in person."

I should be receiving flowers or something tomorrow too (once again, no thanks to our online banking).  I don't know what they look like or anything so it's still going to be a surprise.  So excited! He's never gotten me flowers so this is a big step!  Dang.. I guess this means I have to stop harassing him about getting me flowers =P .

I'll also be heading to my mom's house tomorrow to spend two weeks with her for Christmas and New Years.  Hopefully that will help two weeks pass by quickly and Jack will get a chance to run around in the country with his buddy Outlaw.

Awww this really makes me miss DH.  It's also pretty crappy that he can't get online for another week or so =( .  Oh well..

Here's to you, darling!

And the Planning Continues

So I love to plan.  I love to research what I'm planning, I love organizing my plans, and I love thinking about my plans.  I love to plan.  So my newest research project has consisted of DH and I's post-deployment block leave vacation.  We know that we want to go to NJ to see his family and friends, but we weren't sure what we wanted to do for the other week (we're taking 2 weeks off).

And here is where I come in!  We were supposed to go to Vegas with our friends, but since they are going to have a baby by then (Yay!) they can't go =( .  So I had considered taking a cruise instead.  DH and I took a pre-deployment cruise which was pretty fun.  My only real complaint was that there wasn't too much to do during the day and the ports didn't have real beaches (we went to South America) which is what I was looking forward to.  So for this cruise I knew that I wanted it to be a little shorter so that we didn't get bored, and that I wanted to go to either Alaska or the Caribbean.  Unfortunately, the cruises available in our expected block leave timeline were not very appealing.  They were either too long, went to places we didn't want to go to, or the ship did not have the luxuries I wanted for our vacation. Soooo… That's why we're going to Vegas lol.

After researching various hotels, restaurants, casinos, promotions, etc I have decided that this is our best option.  After using different promotion codes and combining our flight with our hotel reservation, the price will be right about the same as a cruise would have been.  This price includes our hotel, food, shows, gambling (which I am providing a large portion of our budget for =P ), and flight.  If you're curious as to how much I am anticipating this to cost, the answer is roughly $2,500.  I don't know if that's a good price or not, but like I said, a large portion of that is for gambling anyway.

I am really excited about this trip.  DH and I love to play poker and roulette (roulette is more my game, poker is more his) so this will be really fun for us.  I am also looking forward to having a nice hotel room for our relaxation time.  Our room on the cruise was veryyy small and I hadn't realized how much a room can really affect the overall mood.  The shower wasn't very big (if you catch my drift *ahem*), and we didn't have a lot of space to move or anything so I am really looking forward to living in luxury for a few days.  We'll also be able to choose which shows we see, choose where we eat, and walk around the strip if we want to.

Side Note: Those of you who love cruises or are looking forward to going on a cruise, please don't think that cruises aren't fun or that I don't enjoy them.  They definitely are and you get A LOT for your money.  It's just that for what DH and I want for our vacation, Vegas suits us a little better.


Yes I know I am getting way ahead of myself here, but like I said, I love to plan.  This gives me something to look forward to and keep my mind occupied for awhile while I wait for DH to return.  I think I'm going to use this trip as not only a "Welcome Home" trip, but also as a birthday present for DH and I.  Block leave will be shortly after my 21st birthday and DH's 22nd birthday is only 2 weeks after mine.  He didn't get a 21st birthday since he spent his in Afghanistan so this will be a joint 21st birthday celebration for us.

I am super excited for Summer.  I'm turning 21, DH is coming home, we're going to NJ to visit his family and friends, and we're going to Vegas!! W00t!

But first, I have to get through the rest of 2010 and Winter =P

Helplessness

This deployment sucks, there's no denying that.  However, it doesn't suck for the reasons that I thought it would.  I mean, of course I hate that DH has to live away from me for an entire year, but there's something else that angers and distresses me above all else, helplessness.

The days when he doesn't get to eat, or shower, or sleep.  The days that he has to deal with sucky (trying to keep it PG here lol) leadership or irresponsible battle buddies.  I am not directly affected by any of this of course, but it is the most emotionally distressing thing about this deployment.  I wish there was something I could do.  Unfortunately, I cannot address this issue just as DH would not be able to address my civilian boss or coworkers.  So all I can do is listen and let him vent if and when he feels the need.

Helplessness.  One word that holds so many variables.  I am helpless to the fact that my husband is deployed.  I am helpless to the environment he has to live in for a year.  I am helpless to the way he is treated by others.  I am helpless to the adversity he faces everyday.

When I considered the emotions I might encounter during this deployment, helplessness was not one of them.  Sad, lonely, anxious, scared, yes.  Helpless, no.

One thing is for sure, I've learned a lot during this deployment so far.  I have learned that I have more patience than I ever could have imagined, I have learned how to replace an air filter in a car, I have learned that anger is a wasted emotion when there is already so little time.

I wish I could learn how to feel less helpless.

2011 Here I Come!

I don't know what happened, but I woke up in such a good mood today.  I'm feeling super optimistic about everything and I can't wait for next year.  There are so many things to look forward to..

1.  January - Beginning of new semester of college and DOM is at 50%
2.  February - Valentine's Day, and day 200 of this deployment (3 days after V Day).
3.  March - Spring break and possibly my friend's homecoming for her hubby.
4.  April - End of first year of college.
5.  May - Beginning of Summer and DOM is at 75% !!!
6.  June, July, August - Summer <3 and the end of this deployment!!!

So as you can see, I have clearly marked off the majority of next year.  Ok maybe I just marked off the months leading to the end of this deployment, but those are the only months I need to worry about lol.  Yes my friends, I do believe next year is going to fly by.  I can't believe I'll be at 50% in almost one month!  One more semester to go and it'll all be downhill from there <3

The Deployment Blues

I've had a pretty optimistic outlook for most of this deployment (4.5 months and counting).  I was upbeat the night before DH had to leave, telling him that we'd handle this deployment no problem and he'd be home before we knew it.  Even after a couple months I was saying how fast the time was going.  Even now, I think the time is flying by.  I can't believe it will be January in a couple weeks, and my DOM will soon say 50%.

Unfortunately R&R was 3 weeks ago (really early, I know) and I've missed him more since then than I did when he first left.  The first couple of days were especially difficult, but even now I miss him more than before.  That sounds awful, but it's true.  The thing is, we didn't have a particularly fairy-tale-like R&R.  He annoyed me.  He was in MY space, he was making extra noise in MY house, using MY computer and MY tv.  Don't get me wrong, I loved having him here and it was a lot better than when he was gone, but it definitely was not the fairy tale I thought it would be.  Yet somehow, I feel closer to him now than before.  Somehow, I miss him more now than I did before.  I don't know if it's the weather (wanting someone to cuddle with while it's freezing outside) or the holidays or what.  I don't cry often and I can usually be pretty strong in the face of loneliness, but it's harder now for some reason.

It's hard to put into words how I feel.  I'm optimistic and sad, I'm lonely and yet content being by myself in my space.  I'm independent and dependent at the same time.  I'm tired of being anxious thinking about reintegration.  I'm tired of being alone.  I'm tired of waiting around all night and all morning to talk to DH.  I'm just tired... Some days it seems like homecoming will never come.  That sounds melodramatic, but I seriously feel that way sometimes.

Despite my 'woe is me' post, I know that someday I'll be able to look back at this and thank God we both survived.

Here's to a quick 7.5 months.

Late Night Adventures

Every night for the past couple weeks my friend Lori and I have gone on walks together.  It started as a short, one mile walk with our dogs.  Shortly after it turned into a two mile walk.  Now we walk five miles together every night.  Mind you, we did some "exploring" (aka: getting lost) in the upper officer housing a few times before we found a good route.  Anyway, it's a great way to get exercise and is often pretty therapeutic.  Some may call us crazy for walking in 15 degree weather, but that's only because they haven't tried it! Ok maybe some people have and still don't like it, but who ever said I was normal?


As a side note, upper officer housing is AMAZING! Really, I feel like I walk into another dimension when I enter their neighborhood.  Anyway, continuing with what I was saying..

Our conversations have ranged from my grand plans to move to San Antonio, TX (more on that later) to our marriages, to our mutual friends, to complaining about our houses or the weather.  It's been a great source of relief for my overly active mind.  I can get everything out in the open and she's an awesome listener.

However, I've done some listening too.  I'm realizing more and more how much I love the idea of becoming a therapist.  Being able to listen to people express their concerns or feelings and offer sound advice sounds like a fantastic way to pass the time and get paid for it no less!

I've also been getting exercise.  It's a new way of exercising for me because usually whenever I exercise, I go all out.  I run 5 miles or I put the elliptical machine to 10 resistance and go to town.  However, I'm liking this low impact workout.  It doesn't even feel like a workout and yet you can't deny the fact that walking 5 miles is doing some good.  I'm happy to announce that I have lost 5 lbs in the past two weeks and I'm pretty proud of myself.  Only a few more lbs and I'll be at my goal weight!

I'm sure DH will be happy to come home to a thinner, saner wife.

Where Do I Start...

As I was contemplating starting a blog, I began to think of different introductions.  Something that would highlight my sense of humor, portray me as a loving and caring wife, or perhaps as an intellectual being attempting to put my thoughts out into the world.  But alas, I could find no way to properly introduce myself, so I have decided not to.

Instead of writing about myself, I figure I should just start writing about my life.  That is why I started a blog in the first place, right? And most people will probably decide what kind of person I am based on the way I portray my life so there really is no need for an introduction is there?

So why have I finally decided to start a blog you ask?  There are many reasons.  The first, peer pressure.  Haha I kid, but seriously, my fabulous friends have finally succeeded in their attempts at trying to get me to write a blog.  The second, I have a lot to talk about.  As this deployment drags on, I have found that I have a lot of time on my hands.  So much in fact, that I tend to think... a lot.  Instead of bombarding my different groups of friends with my crazy plans and ideas, I thought I would start a blog. That way, if ever they feel so inclined, they may update themselves on my most recent musings.

I have a lot of stored up topics to talk about, but for now I'll leave you with this.  Later peepz!