Where do I begin? It's been 22 months since DH came home from his last deployment. I've spent the past few hours reading the posts of last deployment and I can't believe how fast the time went by. I can't believe how optimistic I was. Perhaps it was a different mentality because it was my first deployment. Up until two months ago we were under the impression his company would not be deploying. Surprise! He is and did.
This time I didn't attend the FRG meetings, didn't cry randomly during the months leading up to the deployment, or do any research on the upcoming journey. I ignored it, lived in denial. And so now that he's left, I don't know what to think. I don't know how to handle this one.
I will say, though, that this deployment is slowly catching up to me. The first few days I was dealing with this deployment with a zen-like mentality. Time would pass with or without worry, I couldn't sit around waiting for him, I had to live my life. Yeah... right... That quickly went out the window as I learned more details about where he would be staying and the type of deployment this was turning into.
He's with a special group this time and going to a very dangerous place. I hope his living conditions are at least better than last time though I'm not so sure about that.
Update: I had spinal surgery last February and have not had any sciatic pain since. It is amazing how quickly the surgery worked! I'm so thankful I am able to run again.
I've been running more lately. DH and I ran a 10 miler at the end of March together which was an amazing experience and I'll be running a half marathon in October. On top of that, I'm writing more stories on fictionpress, and reading more regularly. With these three things, I should be able to stay sane.
I'm going to California to see my family for 3 weeks in a few days. My cousin is getting married, I get to see my grandma, dad, and cousin. I'm really excited but the deployment blues are sucking the fun out of it. Hopefully once I'm on my way I'll be more up to it.
In fact, I KNOW I will be. It's just that this first week is dragging. He left on D Day ironically. I can't see the time passing as quickly as last time, but I hope it does. The deployment length will be a breeze if I can get back to that place where time meant nothing.
In August I'm going to see Mango in Boston for a week, see Diego in NY for a day or so and then head back home. And then it'll be September and (hopefully) halfway through this deployment. It's not nearly as long as last deployment, so why can't I muster the strength to be optimistic?
Looks like this blog is turning into a deployment diary. Let's see how well we survive this one.
