Reflection

As this deployment comes to an end, it's made me reflect on the past year.

Deployments are never fun.  I think that goes without saying.  However, they are memorable.  For better or for worse, it's an experience you will never forget.  It's something that shapes you, changes you as a person whether you were overseas or "left behind."

These past few weeks have just about killed me.  It is the VERY last bit of this deployment and it started to frustrate me, anger me, drive me insane.  I began to wonder how on Earth I could have possibly survived 11 months when I can hardly get through 3 weeks.  But as I see and hear about other people beginning a deployment, it has reminded me of this past year.  The start of their journeys have reminded me of mine.

Of course things always look better in hindsight.  Still, I can almost look back on this year with fondness.  It was a year that I learned a lot about myself and DH.  It was a year that I learned how much I could handle, how independent I could be, how strong I am.  It taught me to be self sufficient, to rely on myself for entertainment, to find peace in the simple things because there wasn't much peace left.

Optimism kept me sane.  At times I was blindly optimistic with the hope of early homecomings, and hours-long Skype dates.  But sometimes being blind isn't so bad.  Sometimes we need to close our eyes to the reality of life in order to cherish hope.  Hope kept me alive.

No, he didn't come home months early.  But we made it.  Whether I made it by living off of the hope for better things to come or by simply ducking my head and running through the days that I didn't want to remember, doesn't matter anymore.  I made it.




We made it.