Where do I begin? It's been 22 months since DH came home from his last deployment. I've spent the past few hours reading the posts of last deployment and I can't believe how fast the time went by. I can't believe how optimistic I was. Perhaps it was a different mentality because it was my first deployment. Up until two months ago we were under the impression his company would not be deploying. Surprise! He is and did.
This time I didn't attend the FRG meetings, didn't cry randomly during the months leading up to the deployment, or do any research on the upcoming journey. I ignored it, lived in denial. And so now that he's left, I don't know what to think. I don't know how to handle this one.
I will say, though, that this deployment is slowly catching up to me. The first few days I was dealing with this deployment with a zen-like mentality. Time would pass with or without worry, I couldn't sit around waiting for him, I had to live my life. Yeah... right... That quickly went out the window as I learned more details about where he would be staying and the type of deployment this was turning into.
He's with a special group this time and going to a very dangerous place. I hope his living conditions are at least better than last time though I'm not so sure about that.
Update: I had spinal surgery last February and have not had any sciatic pain since. It is amazing how quickly the surgery worked! I'm so thankful I am able to run again.
I've been running more lately. DH and I ran a 10 miler at the end of March together which was an amazing experience and I'll be running a half marathon in October. On top of that, I'm writing more stories on fictionpress, and reading more regularly. With these three things, I should be able to stay sane.
I'm going to California to see my family for 3 weeks in a few days. My cousin is getting married, I get to see my grandma, dad, and cousin. I'm really excited but the deployment blues are sucking the fun out of it. Hopefully once I'm on my way I'll be more up to it.
In fact, I KNOW I will be. It's just that this first week is dragging. He left on D Day ironically. I can't see the time passing as quickly as last time, but I hope it does. The deployment length will be a breeze if I can get back to that place where time meant nothing.
In August I'm going to see Mango in Boston for a week, see Diego in NY for a day or so and then head back home. And then it'll be September and (hopefully) halfway through this deployment. It's not nearly as long as last deployment, so why can't I muster the strength to be optimistic?
Looks like this blog is turning into a deployment diary. Let's see how well we survive this one.
Showing posts with label Sciatica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sciatica. Show all posts
Friday, June 14, 2013
Monday, May 9, 2011
Why, hello there May
A lot has happened in the past two weeks (when doesn't a lot happen in two weeks?)
DH and I tried to get him home on Emergency Leave for my surgery, but it was denied because my condition is not life threatening. Yes it is disappointing, but what can ya do?
So I have rescheduled surgery for mid-September. This will give DH plenty of time to come home and it should be during his block leave. My back does hurt a lot still, but I can survive a few more months until he comes home for good.
Speaking of coming home for good…
We are in the home stretch of this deployment! 80% done!! W00t!!! And no this is not my attempt at cheating on my DOM to convince myself that the end is closer than it really is. DOM really does say 80% =D
We only have X amount of months before he comes home. And by X, I mean a very small single digit number.
I also finished my first year of college with a 3.26 GPA. Not as good as I had hoped, but as long as I keep it above a 3.0, I should have no problem getting into Grad school.
So here it goes… The calendar for the remaining months of this deployment.
May: Going home to watch the foals be born on my stepdad's farm. This should be very exciting as there are still two more mares that are going to deliver babies in the next couple of months.
June: Spend half of the time at my mom's and the second half at home. The second half will be time for me to prepare myself for DH's homecoming. Hair, nails, working out, etc.
July: Last month of this deployment. I will probably spend most of this time dancing, freaking out, smiling, and grocery shopping.
August: Relaxing for the first time in 12 months.
September: New Jersey, Vegas, and surgery. A pretty exciting month =)
May has always been the epitome of the end for me. It represents the final season of this deployment, the end of school, and the home stretch. Everything after May seems minuscule in comparison to what I've already been through.
It still amazes me that it's May. For months I dreamed of May. In October I felt that May would never come. Even in February I felt that May was just a distant goal that would never truly be accomplished. Well here it is...
I made it. WE made it.
DH and I tried to get him home on Emergency Leave for my surgery, but it was denied because my condition is not life threatening. Yes it is disappointing, but what can ya do?
So I have rescheduled surgery for mid-September. This will give DH plenty of time to come home and it should be during his block leave. My back does hurt a lot still, but I can survive a few more months until he comes home for good.
Speaking of coming home for good…
We are in the home stretch of this deployment! 80% done!! W00t!!! And no this is not my attempt at cheating on my DOM to convince myself that the end is closer than it really is. DOM really does say 80% =D
We only have X amount of months before he comes home. And by X, I mean a very small single digit number.
I also finished my first year of college with a 3.26 GPA. Not as good as I had hoped, but as long as I keep it above a 3.0, I should have no problem getting into Grad school.
So here it goes… The calendar for the remaining months of this deployment.
May: Going home to watch the foals be born on my stepdad's farm. This should be very exciting as there are still two more mares that are going to deliver babies in the next couple of months.
June: Spend half of the time at my mom's and the second half at home. The second half will be time for me to prepare myself for DH's homecoming. Hair, nails, working out, etc.
July: Last month of this deployment. I will probably spend most of this time dancing, freaking out, smiling, and grocery shopping.
August: Relaxing for the first time in 12 months.
September: New Jersey, Vegas, and surgery. A pretty exciting month =)
May has always been the epitome of the end for me. It represents the final season of this deployment, the end of school, and the home stretch. Everything after May seems minuscule in comparison to what I've already been through.
It still amazes me that it's May. For months I dreamed of May. In October I felt that May would never come. Even in February I felt that May was just a distant goal that would never truly be accomplished. Well here it is...
I made it. WE made it.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Updates, Updates, Updates
Alright, it's only been two weeks since I last posted, but a lot has happened!
First, my friends got their husbands back from deployment. Yay for them! Homecoming was awesome and I was more excited than they were (seriously). I can't wait until my homecoming.
I also finished all of my school work for the year! Woooo!!! All I have to do is take 3 finals during this week and I'm free for 4 months!
I also had my appointment with my spine specialist for my re-evaluation after 6 weeks of physical therapy. Since physical therapy didn't help at all, my doctor and I have decided to go along with surgery. Surgery is scheduled for mid-May. I have done my research and the surgery itself isn't too too bad. I'm not scared now, but I'm sure I will be when I'm actually lying in the operating room. That is, IF surgery happens right now.
IF is a big word. I will go along with surgery if, and only if DH is allowed emergency leave to come home. He won't be here for the actual surgery, sadly, but he will be here to help me post-operation. IF he is allowed to come home.
The reason I say that I will only go along with surgery if DH is allowed emergency leave is because I am essentially helpless for the first week or two following surgery. I'm sorry, but I do not want anyone besides my husband to have to bathe me. So if he is not allowed leave, I will simply have to reschedule for block leave once he's home for good. This is not exactly ideal as I am in a lot of pain right now, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I am awaiting on the hospital to call me to confirm the surgery date, and the hospital is waiting on Tricare to confirm the date. When I was waiting on confirmation for my wisdom teeth extraction, it took a matter of a few hours for them to get back to me. It's been 4 days.
So I called Tricare. Apparently they haven't received any of my paperwork. Then I called the hospital and am waiting for them to return my phone call so I can figure out why on earth they haven't sent Tricare any of my paperwork yet. Sigh…
Once I get the confirmation, I need to simply take my doctor's note (that he wrote up specifically for this purpose) to Rear D and have a message sent to DH's commander so that he can decide if he is going to allow my husband emergency leave for my surgery.
IF he is allowed emergency leave, I will get to see my husband VERY soon! Yayyy!!!! If not, I'll still get to see my husband fairly soon.
I'm contemplating calling the hospital back. It's only been 30 minutes, but it doesn't take that long to return someone's phone call =)
Aaaand DOM has recently hit 75% done =D
Ah yes, the wonderful world of the Army. Can I checkout now?
First, my friends got their husbands back from deployment. Yay for them! Homecoming was awesome and I was more excited than they were (seriously). I can't wait until my homecoming.
I also finished all of my school work for the year! Woooo!!! All I have to do is take 3 finals during this week and I'm free for 4 months!
I also had my appointment with my spine specialist for my re-evaluation after 6 weeks of physical therapy. Since physical therapy didn't help at all, my doctor and I have decided to go along with surgery. Surgery is scheduled for mid-May. I have done my research and the surgery itself isn't too too bad. I'm not scared now, but I'm sure I will be when I'm actually lying in the operating room. That is, IF surgery happens right now.
IF is a big word. I will go along with surgery if, and only if DH is allowed emergency leave to come home. He won't be here for the actual surgery, sadly, but he will be here to help me post-operation. IF he is allowed to come home.
The reason I say that I will only go along with surgery if DH is allowed emergency leave is because I am essentially helpless for the first week or two following surgery. I'm sorry, but I do not want anyone besides my husband to have to bathe me. So if he is not allowed leave, I will simply have to reschedule for block leave once he's home for good. This is not exactly ideal as I am in a lot of pain right now, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I am awaiting on the hospital to call me to confirm the surgery date, and the hospital is waiting on Tricare to confirm the date. When I was waiting on confirmation for my wisdom teeth extraction, it took a matter of a few hours for them to get back to me. It's been 4 days.
So I called Tricare. Apparently they haven't received any of my paperwork. Then I called the hospital and am waiting for them to return my phone call so I can figure out why on earth they haven't sent Tricare any of my paperwork yet. Sigh…
Once I get the confirmation, I need to simply take my doctor's note (that he wrote up specifically for this purpose) to Rear D and have a message sent to DH's commander so that he can decide if he is going to allow my husband emergency leave for my surgery.
IF he is allowed emergency leave, I will get to see my husband VERY soon! Yayyy!!!! If not, I'll still get to see my husband fairly soon.
I'm contemplating calling the hospital back. It's only been 30 minutes, but it doesn't take that long to return someone's phone call =)
Aaaand DOM has recently hit 75% done =D
Ah yes, the wonderful world of the Army. Can I checkout now?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Hello April!
One more month down in this awful deployment. For some reason, March decided to take its sweet time moving along. However, I am happy to announce that I am still alive and chugging along.
A lot happened in DH's world as well as mine and March just wasn't that great of a month, but it's in the past so let's move on shall we?
School is going well. This is officially the last month of school! W00t!!
Physical therapy is going ok. It's not offering me the relief I thought it would. It's looking like surgery is becoming more and more a possibility. The good news is, physical therapy has taught me spine-safe exercises and postures that I can use for the rest of my life.
The rest of this deployment (which continues to shrink as we speak) is carefully marked with things to help speed the remaining time along.
April: My friends' homecoming for their husbands. This is exciting for them, but I'll definitely be attending the homecoming ceremony to offer emotional support and just enjoy being in a room full of love. This is also the last month of school. Less than 3 assignments per class left!
May: I'll be going to Texas with my friends on their block leave. This should be exciting since I'm going with one of my best friends and I've never been to Texas. I may have mentioned this before, but I plan on moving their when DH ETSs so it would be nice to see the area I plan on moving to =P.
June: My Texas trip will last until the end of May and then June will be only a week away. I'll be going to my mom's house and my dad will be visiting sometime this month. I haven't seen him in 4 years so that is very exciting! I'll also be getting my hair done, nails done, etc for DH's homecoming =D!!
July: The last month of deployment!! Need I say more?
When I list the months like that, it doesn't seem so bad. If April hurries along, I'll be happy. In fact, if April, May, and June hurry along, I'll be even happier.
A lot happened in DH's world as well as mine and March just wasn't that great of a month, but it's in the past so let's move on shall we?
School is going well. This is officially the last month of school! W00t!!
Physical therapy is going ok. It's not offering me the relief I thought it would. It's looking like surgery is becoming more and more a possibility. The good news is, physical therapy has taught me spine-safe exercises and postures that I can use for the rest of my life.
The rest of this deployment (which continues to shrink as we speak) is carefully marked with things to help speed the remaining time along.
April: My friends' homecoming for their husbands. This is exciting for them, but I'll definitely be attending the homecoming ceremony to offer emotional support and just enjoy being in a room full of love. This is also the last month of school. Less than 3 assignments per class left!
May: I'll be going to Texas with my friends on their block leave. This should be exciting since I'm going with one of my best friends and I've never been to Texas. I may have mentioned this before, but I plan on moving their when DH ETSs so it would be nice to see the area I plan on moving to =P.
June: My Texas trip will last until the end of May and then June will be only a week away. I'll be going to my mom's house and my dad will be visiting sometime this month. I haven't seen him in 4 years so that is very exciting! I'll also be getting my hair done, nails done, etc for DH's homecoming =D!!
July: The last month of deployment!! Need I say more?
When I list the months like that, it doesn't seem so bad. If April hurries along, I'll be happy. In fact, if April, May, and June hurry along, I'll be even happier.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Finally!
Finally another good day!
Today was fantastic. The weather was perfect. 70 degrees, with a nice breeze. I took Jack for a walk with Monica while she walked her little dog, Baby. Afterwards, Jack and Baby played in her backyard and cracked us up with their crazy antics.
I've become very close to Monica and Lori and I finally feel like I have a best friend again. I've had plenty of close friends, but it's been a long time since I've had that friend that makes me feel like I'm in High School again. That kind of friend where you practically live at their house, and do everything together. It's been a long time and I'm so happy that I have that again.
In 1.5 weeks my DOM will read 75% =O. I know, I can't believe it either. 75%??? How can that be? It's been a long time coming, but I'm just now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Could this deployment REALLY be ending?!
In other less exciting news, I've been going to physical therapy a lot. I'm getting a great workout while I'm there, but my back is starting to hurt worse. I'm not quite sure if this is normal, or if I'm doing something wrong, but it's starting to discourage me. I'm almost in as much pain as I was when DH left after R&R. It was so bad that I had to go to the ER to get a prescription for Vicodin. I hope it doesn't get that bad again. Oh well, I have many more PT visits so hopefully it will only get better from here.
DH has been doing well too, surprisingly. There's a part of me that expects him to be miserable all of the time, and I'm surprised when he's not. I don't want him to be miserable, but I'm just surprised how much he can put up with and still be ok.
I've got a lot of homework to do tomorrow, but I'm not stressing over it. Soon school will be over, and with that, the end of this deployment!
Today was fantastic. The weather was perfect. 70 degrees, with a nice breeze. I took Jack for a walk with Monica while she walked her little dog, Baby. Afterwards, Jack and Baby played in her backyard and cracked us up with their crazy antics.
I've become very close to Monica and Lori and I finally feel like I have a best friend again. I've had plenty of close friends, but it's been a long time since I've had that friend that makes me feel like I'm in High School again. That kind of friend where you practically live at their house, and do everything together. It's been a long time and I'm so happy that I have that again.
In 1.5 weeks my DOM will read 75% =O. I know, I can't believe it either. 75%??? How can that be? It's been a long time coming, but I'm just now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Could this deployment REALLY be ending?!
In other less exciting news, I've been going to physical therapy a lot. I'm getting a great workout while I'm there, but my back is starting to hurt worse. I'm not quite sure if this is normal, or if I'm doing something wrong, but it's starting to discourage me. I'm almost in as much pain as I was when DH left after R&R. It was so bad that I had to go to the ER to get a prescription for Vicodin. I hope it doesn't get that bad again. Oh well, I have many more PT visits so hopefully it will only get better from here.
DH has been doing well too, surprisingly. There's a part of me that expects him to be miserable all of the time, and I'm surprised when he's not. I don't want him to be miserable, but I'm just surprised how much he can put up with and still be ok.
I've got a lot of homework to do tomorrow, but I'm not stressing over it. Soon school will be over, and with that, the end of this deployment!
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A Little Bit of Everything
Sorry blogger peepz. I've been busy actually getting out of the house lol.
I started physical therapy. It's been going really well. I'm going 3x a week for a few weeks and then will change to 2x a week until I no longer need to go. My physical therapist is really nice and she basically has me doing stretches and exercises the entire time. Perfect. I get a workout and fix my back all at once. She's trying to help me build up the muscles around my back to help support it. A lot of core and glute workouts. The only thing I'm afraid of is.. My core and leg muscles are already strong so I'm afraid it's not going to make that much of an impact, but we'll see. She also said that in a few weeks I'd most likely be able to get back to running =)
School has been going well. It's spring break haha!
DH has been gone a lot for various reasons. Thankfully I have my friends to keep me company and pass the time. Next Tuesday I'm going shopping in Nashville for summer clothes and to replenish my supply of heels and tennis shoes since they were stolen from our storage unit. I feel that I deserve this little shopping spree because I've done exceptionally well at saving during this deployment and taking a little break from saving $1000+/month won't hurt anything.
I also changed the return date on my DOM. For those who know me, you know this is nothing new =P. However, I don't really feel like I'm cheating because I simply changed the date to when DH will go to his transition FOB before he leaves Afghanistan completely. I've said time and time again that this deployment will end for me when his quality of life has improved and he is safe. I'm 90% sure that his quality of life will improve and he will be safer once he is at the transition FOB. I may not see him for a little bit after the date I chose, but for now that's the date I'm aiming for. I couldn't stand to see "40% left" on my DOM so I needed to change it. Now I see "34% left" and I feel much better.
I'm also getting a little cold. How could this happen? I've been taking my vitamin everyday =( . Stupid hospitals and their germ-infested elevators… (I had to take a friend to the hospital about a week ago and the only thing I touched was the elevator).
I can't wait until the title of my post says, "He's Home!!"
I started physical therapy. It's been going really well. I'm going 3x a week for a few weeks and then will change to 2x a week until I no longer need to go. My physical therapist is really nice and she basically has me doing stretches and exercises the entire time. Perfect. I get a workout and fix my back all at once. She's trying to help me build up the muscles around my back to help support it. A lot of core and glute workouts. The only thing I'm afraid of is.. My core and leg muscles are already strong so I'm afraid it's not going to make that much of an impact, but we'll see. She also said that in a few weeks I'd most likely be able to get back to running =)
School has been going well. It's spring break haha!
DH has been gone a lot for various reasons. Thankfully I have my friends to keep me company and pass the time. Next Tuesday I'm going shopping in Nashville for summer clothes and to replenish my supply of heels and tennis shoes since they were stolen from our storage unit. I feel that I deserve this little shopping spree because I've done exceptionally well at saving during this deployment and taking a little break from saving $1000+/month won't hurt anything.
I also changed the return date on my DOM. For those who know me, you know this is nothing new =P. However, I don't really feel like I'm cheating because I simply changed the date to when DH will go to his transition FOB before he leaves Afghanistan completely. I've said time and time again that this deployment will end for me when his quality of life has improved and he is safe. I'm 90% sure that his quality of life will improve and he will be safer once he is at the transition FOB. I may not see him for a little bit after the date I chose, but for now that's the date I'm aiming for. I couldn't stand to see "40% left" on my DOM so I needed to change it. Now I see "34% left" and I feel much better.
I'm also getting a little cold. How could this happen? I've been taking my vitamin everyday =( . Stupid hospitals and their germ-infested elevators… (I had to take a friend to the hospital about a week ago and the only thing I touched was the elevator).
I can't wait until the title of my post says, "He's Home!!"
Friday, February 25, 2011
The Verdict is in
I have a herniated disc. Somehow, I thought I was too young or too healthy for a herniated disc. Don't ask me how I thought that was logical. Good news is, it will heal itself over time. Bad news is, it'll probably take a few years. The doctor offered to do surgery. He said all he will do is insert a small tube and remove the bulge that is pinching my sciatic nerve. Eh, no thanks (at least for now). So what we're going to do is take oral steroids for 6 days, and do physical therapy. I am optimistic about this plan for two reasons.
One, I am 95% sure that these oral steroids were the same ones I took when my back first started hurting (2 years ago) and it made the pain go away for 1.5 years. Second, I was speaking to a female soldier in the waiting room who has 100 different things wrong with her back and she said that she has had no pain since she started physical therapy 4 weeks ago. I figure, if physical therapy can make her pain go away, I'm sure it will make my pain go away.
I have also not taken any pain meds for about 3 weeks and the pain is manageable. I'm certainly not going to be doing gymnastics or running 5 miles, but I can at least do the things that I need to do. Hopefully these steroids will decrease the pain though. And if they do work, I might have them give me steroid injections which will be a bit stronger and last longer (if the oral steroids work, but I feel that I need something stronger).
So there you have it, a herniated disc. 20 years old and I have the spine of a 50 year old. I may always have back problems, but at least pain doesn't have to be a permanent fixture in my life.
There is hope!
One, I am 95% sure that these oral steroids were the same ones I took when my back first started hurting (2 years ago) and it made the pain go away for 1.5 years. Second, I was speaking to a female soldier in the waiting room who has 100 different things wrong with her back and she said that she has had no pain since she started physical therapy 4 weeks ago. I figure, if physical therapy can make her pain go away, I'm sure it will make my pain go away.
I have also not taken any pain meds for about 3 weeks and the pain is manageable. I'm certainly not going to be doing gymnastics or running 5 miles, but I can at least do the things that I need to do. Hopefully these steroids will decrease the pain though. And if they do work, I might have them give me steroid injections which will be a bit stronger and last longer (if the oral steroids work, but I feel that I need something stronger).
So there you have it, a herniated disc. 20 years old and I have the spine of a 50 year old. I may always have back problems, but at least pain doesn't have to be a permanent fixture in my life.
There is hope!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Happy Anniversary to Me!
It's DH and I's third anniversary of being together today (not our wedding anniversary). Wow, a whole three years. That's like 14% of our entire lives! Just figures that he has to be doing OPSEC and won't be able to talk to me for x days. Oh well, I'll live.
And you know I have to update on Rocky! He's doing pretty well. I'm teaching him to not nip on people's hands and feet and he's catching on quickly. I also gave him his first bath today. He did really well, he mostly just stood there for me. Him and Jack are growing pretty fond of each other as well. If I'm not around, Rocky seems to accept Jack as my substitute. I'd like to think Jack has bonded as well. He even allows Rocky to play with his ducky! Rocky has his next set of shots on the 20th, yay! The more shots he gets, the closer I get to being able to take him on walks with me <3
My orthopedic specialist appointment is today too. I've been very curious to see how they will deal with my back problems. For those of you who do not know, I've had Sciatica and sacralization of the 5th lumbar for about 2 years now and it is getting increasingly worse. Basically my sciatic nerve is being pinched (Sciatica) because the vertebra above and below the nerve are trying to fuse together (sacralization). I really hope they can do something about my back because I cannot continue to take pain meds for the rest of my life.
I'm also getting my wisdom teeth out next Tuesday. Fun fun! I've never had surgery before so I'm a bit nervous and excited. I know.. I'm weird lol. It's a good thing my mom will still be at my house because I'm going to be a little loopy from the anesthetic and pain meds for a day or so and won't be able to take care of my furbabies very well.
Lots of doctor and vet appointments this month. Let's hope February is a healthier month!
And you know I have to update on Rocky! He's doing pretty well. I'm teaching him to not nip on people's hands and feet and he's catching on quickly. I also gave him his first bath today. He did really well, he mostly just stood there for me. Him and Jack are growing pretty fond of each other as well. If I'm not around, Rocky seems to accept Jack as my substitute. I'd like to think Jack has bonded as well. He even allows Rocky to play with his ducky! Rocky has his next set of shots on the 20th, yay! The more shots he gets, the closer I get to being able to take him on walks with me <3
My orthopedic specialist appointment is today too. I've been very curious to see how they will deal with my back problems. For those of you who do not know, I've had Sciatica and sacralization of the 5th lumbar for about 2 years now and it is getting increasingly worse. Basically my sciatic nerve is being pinched (Sciatica) because the vertebra above and below the nerve are trying to fuse together (sacralization). I really hope they can do something about my back because I cannot continue to take pain meds for the rest of my life.
I'm also getting my wisdom teeth out next Tuesday. Fun fun! I've never had surgery before so I'm a bit nervous and excited. I know.. I'm weird lol. It's a good thing my mom will still be at my house because I'm going to be a little loopy from the anesthetic and pain meds for a day or so and won't be able to take care of my furbabies very well.
Lots of doctor and vet appointments this month. Let's hope February is a healthier month!
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