Where do I begin? It's been 22 months since DH came home from his last deployment. I've spent the past few hours reading the posts of last deployment and I can't believe how fast the time went by. I can't believe how optimistic I was. Perhaps it was a different mentality because it was my first deployment. Up until two months ago we were under the impression his company would not be deploying. Surprise! He is and did.
This time I didn't attend the FRG meetings, didn't cry randomly during the months leading up to the deployment, or do any research on the upcoming journey. I ignored it, lived in denial. And so now that he's left, I don't know what to think. I don't know how to handle this one.
I will say, though, that this deployment is slowly catching up to me. The first few days I was dealing with this deployment with a zen-like mentality. Time would pass with or without worry, I couldn't sit around waiting for him, I had to live my life. Yeah... right... That quickly went out the window as I learned more details about where he would be staying and the type of deployment this was turning into.
He's with a special group this time and going to a very dangerous place. I hope his living conditions are at least better than last time though I'm not so sure about that.
Update: I had spinal surgery last February and have not had any sciatic pain since. It is amazing how quickly the surgery worked! I'm so thankful I am able to run again.
I've been running more lately. DH and I ran a 10 miler at the end of March together which was an amazing experience and I'll be running a half marathon in October. On top of that, I'm writing more stories on fictionpress, and reading more regularly. With these three things, I should be able to stay sane.
I'm going to California to see my family for 3 weeks in a few days. My cousin is getting married, I get to see my grandma, dad, and cousin. I'm really excited but the deployment blues are sucking the fun out of it. Hopefully once I'm on my way I'll be more up to it.
In fact, I KNOW I will be. It's just that this first week is dragging. He left on D Day ironically. I can't see the time passing as quickly as last time, but I hope it does. The deployment length will be a breeze if I can get back to that place where time meant nothing.
In August I'm going to see Mango in Boston for a week, see Diego in NY for a day or so and then head back home. And then it'll be September and (hopefully) halfway through this deployment. It's not nearly as long as last deployment, so why can't I muster the strength to be optimistic?
Looks like this blog is turning into a deployment diary. Let's see how well we survive this one.
Showing posts with label Deployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Deployment. Show all posts
Friday, June 14, 2013
Thursday, August 18, 2011
He's Home!!!!!!!
I have waited 363 days to make this post.
First off, let me assure you that the end of this deployment was nothing but horrendous. We encountered 100 bazillion delays including DH contracting Malaria 24 hours before he was supposed to fly to Germany.
After 2 weeks of delays and giving up hope that I would ever see DH again, he came home. He arrived *on time* on Sunday at 6:45pm. I saw his plane flying towards us in the distance from the hangar. It was… surreal. Knowing that my husband, who I hadn't seen in 9 consecutive months and had traveled 7,000 miles to make it home, was mere yards away was the most exciting experience.
He was one of the first people off the plane and we saw each other right away. After seeing him, I ran inside the hangar, stood by the stage, and waited as they marched in. He was right in front of me after they marched in. I was so excited I was literally shaking.
When they were released for 15 min, I ran to him and was embraced in the biggest/ most emotional hug of my life. It couldn't have been better.
Reintegration (which consists of the past 4 days) has gone very well. We're not suffocating each other with 24/7 contact, nor are we distancing ourselves from each other. Everything just seems… normal.
In 2 weeks we'll head to NJ and Vegas for block leave :). Can't wait!
First off, let me assure you that the end of this deployment was nothing but horrendous. We encountered 100 bazillion delays including DH contracting Malaria 24 hours before he was supposed to fly to Germany.
After 2 weeks of delays and giving up hope that I would ever see DH again, he came home. He arrived *on time* on Sunday at 6:45pm. I saw his plane flying towards us in the distance from the hangar. It was… surreal. Knowing that my husband, who I hadn't seen in 9 consecutive months and had traveled 7,000 miles to make it home, was mere yards away was the most exciting experience.
He was one of the first people off the plane and we saw each other right away. After seeing him, I ran inside the hangar, stood by the stage, and waited as they marched in. He was right in front of me after they marched in. I was so excited I was literally shaking.
When they were released for 15 min, I ran to him and was embraced in the biggest/ most emotional hug of my life. It couldn't have been better.
Reintegration (which consists of the past 4 days) has gone very well. We're not suffocating each other with 24/7 contact, nor are we distancing ourselves from each other. Everything just seems… normal.
In 2 weeks we'll head to NJ and Vegas for block leave :). Can't wait!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
DOM Check!!
Here is the moment we've all been waiting for!!!
1.5% left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those of you that know the basic percentages for a DOM, you know that there is practically no time left. I've had to resort to Tylenol PM in order to get any sleep. My mind is racing, my stomach is in knots, and I suddenly feel like there isn't enough time in the day to get everything done that I need to.
But none of that really matters does it? Because DH is coming hoooome!!!! It's amazes me that a year has come and gone, but it did. I think I'm still in shock. Could this deployment really be ending??? Believe it or not, it is.
Ah yes, the end is near :)
1.5% left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For those of you that know the basic percentages for a DOM, you know that there is practically no time left. I've had to resort to Tylenol PM in order to get any sleep. My mind is racing, my stomach is in knots, and I suddenly feel like there isn't enough time in the day to get everything done that I need to.
But none of that really matters does it? Because DH is coming hoooome!!!! It's amazes me that a year has come and gone, but it did. I think I'm still in shock. Could this deployment really be ending??? Believe it or not, it is.
Ah yes, the end is near :)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Reflection
As this deployment comes to an end, it's made me reflect on the past year.
Deployments are never fun. I think that goes without saying. However, they are memorable. For better or for worse, it's an experience you will never forget. It's something that shapes you, changes you as a person whether you were overseas or "left behind."
These past few weeks have just about killed me. It is the VERY last bit of this deployment and it started to frustrate me, anger me, drive me insane. I began to wonder how on Earth I could have possibly survived 11 months when I can hardly get through 3 weeks. But as I see and hear about other people beginning a deployment, it has reminded me of this past year. The start of their journeys have reminded me of mine.
Of course things always look better in hindsight. Still, I can almost look back on this year with fondness. It was a year that I learned a lot about myself and DH. It was a year that I learned how much I could handle, how independent I could be, how strong I am. It taught me to be self sufficient, to rely on myself for entertainment, to find peace in the simple things because there wasn't much peace left.
Optimism kept me sane. At times I was blindly optimistic with the hope of early homecomings, and hours-long Skype dates. But sometimes being blind isn't so bad. Sometimes we need to close our eyes to the reality of life in order to cherish hope. Hope kept me alive.
No, he didn't come home months early. But we made it. Whether I made it by living off of the hope for better things to come or by simply ducking my head and running through the days that I didn't want to remember, doesn't matter anymore. I made it.
We made it.
Deployments are never fun. I think that goes without saying. However, they are memorable. For better or for worse, it's an experience you will never forget. It's something that shapes you, changes you as a person whether you were overseas or "left behind."
These past few weeks have just about killed me. It is the VERY last bit of this deployment and it started to frustrate me, anger me, drive me insane. I began to wonder how on Earth I could have possibly survived 11 months when I can hardly get through 3 weeks. But as I see and hear about other people beginning a deployment, it has reminded me of this past year. The start of their journeys have reminded me of mine.
Of course things always look better in hindsight. Still, I can almost look back on this year with fondness. It was a year that I learned a lot about myself and DH. It was a year that I learned how much I could handle, how independent I could be, how strong I am. It taught me to be self sufficient, to rely on myself for entertainment, to find peace in the simple things because there wasn't much peace left.
Optimism kept me sane. At times I was blindly optimistic with the hope of early homecomings, and hours-long Skype dates. But sometimes being blind isn't so bad. Sometimes we need to close our eyes to the reality of life in order to cherish hope. Hope kept me alive.
No, he didn't come home months early. But we made it. Whether I made it by living off of the hope for better things to come or by simply ducking my head and running through the days that I didn't want to remember, doesn't matter anymore. I made it.
We made it.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Happy Anniversary to Me
Today is my two year anniversary.
It is definitely bitter-sweet. Of course I'm thrilled that we have survived two years of marriage (especially since 19 of those months were spent apart). However, it's bitter because not only is my husband still deployed, but I haven't been able to talk to him today.
The good news is, this weekend marks 2% until DH begins his journey home from Afghanistan :). That is tremendously exciting news in the world of deployments. It is *almost* finally over!
In other news, I've decided to go to The Melting Pot for my 21st birthday on August 6th! I've never been to The Melting Pot or any fondue restaurant so I'm super excited. I think it will be a fun, unique way to spend my birthday.
I also got my Japanese Straightening Perm! I mentioned awhile back that I was planning on getting one and I finally did it. I am VERY happy with the results. Never in my life have I been able to hop out of the shower, brush my hair, and go. If I did, I ended up with a wavy, frizzy, poofy mess.
Yesterday (after not being able to wash my hair for 72 hours - gross!) I washed my hair, hopped out of the shower, brushed my hair, and went. And you know what? It came out great! It wasn't frizzy, poofy, or the least bit wavy. Below is a picture of what it looked like after it dried. It's a miracle!
Although today itself isn't such a great day, great days are just around the corner! Hold on tight, this deployment rollercoaster is almost over!
It is definitely bitter-sweet. Of course I'm thrilled that we have survived two years of marriage (especially since 19 of those months were spent apart). However, it's bitter because not only is my husband still deployed, but I haven't been able to talk to him today.
The good news is, this weekend marks 2% until DH begins his journey home from Afghanistan :). That is tremendously exciting news in the world of deployments. It is *almost* finally over!
In other news, I've decided to go to The Melting Pot for my 21st birthday on August 6th! I've never been to The Melting Pot or any fondue restaurant so I'm super excited. I think it will be a fun, unique way to spend my birthday.
I also got my Japanese Straightening Perm! I mentioned awhile back that I was planning on getting one and I finally did it. I am VERY happy with the results. Never in my life have I been able to hop out of the shower, brush my hair, and go. If I did, I ended up with a wavy, frizzy, poofy mess.
Yesterday (after not being able to wash my hair for 72 hours - gross!) I washed my hair, hopped out of the shower, brushed my hair, and went. And you know what? It came out great! It wasn't frizzy, poofy, or the least bit wavy. Below is a picture of what it looked like after it dried. It's a miracle!
Although today itself isn't such a great day, great days are just around the corner! Hold on tight, this deployment rollercoaster is almost over!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Is it Just Me?
Or is time draaaagging. I'm pretty sure it's just me - and possibly everyone else in the homestretch of a deployment.
Well, July has finally arrived. Woohoo… Do I sound less than enthusiastic? Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that July has finally arrived. It's just that now, July isn't my month -_-. I am angry, sad, frustrated, and essentially at the end of my rapidly fraying rope.
But let's look on the bright side. I only have to finish off this month and then we are X days from DH being home :). For the sake of my sanity, we'll still say that July is "my month."
I swear this last month feels like it's taking years. Back in the day (as in, every month leading up to month 11) a couple weeks was nothing. I flew through this deployment with single-minded optimism. Month 11? My optimism has flown out the window or I just may have run out. Not quite sure which.
I'm just tired. I am tired of sleeping alone, killing spiders alone, dealing with my sciatica alone, taking out the garbage alone, cooking alone, eating alone, being scared because I'm alone, cleaning the yard alone, walking Jack alone, and numerous other things that I have done alone for 11 months.
I know that deployments end. It's just a matter of when.
Well, July has finally arrived. Woohoo… Do I sound less than enthusiastic? Don't get me wrong, I am so happy that July has finally arrived. It's just that now, July isn't my month -_-. I am angry, sad, frustrated, and essentially at the end of my rapidly fraying rope.
But let's look on the bright side. I only have to finish off this month and then we are X days from DH being home :). For the sake of my sanity, we'll still say that July is "my month."
I swear this last month feels like it's taking years. Back in the day (as in, every month leading up to month 11) a couple weeks was nothing. I flew through this deployment with single-minded optimism. Month 11? My optimism has flown out the window or I just may have run out. Not quite sure which.
I'm just tired. I am tired of sleeping alone, killing spiders alone, dealing with my sciatica alone, taking out the garbage alone, cooking alone, eating alone, being scared because I'm alone, cleaning the yard alone, walking Jack alone, and numerous other things that I have done alone for 11 months.
I know that deployments end. It's just a matter of when.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
I'm Alive!
I thought about posting a new blog post about a week ago, but I was not in the best frame of mind at the time. I was under the impression that I would die before this deployment ended. We are definitely in the home stretch now, but the days were dragging for awhile there.
I am happy to announce that everything is back on track now. I have booked our flight and hotel for Vegas!!! Wooooo! We will be staying at The Signature at MGM Grand in a one bedroom suite! I cannot wait, I'm so excited =D. And it was very inexpensive (due to a promotion that reduced our room rate by 20%). Sooo glad I put forth the effort to save a bunch of money during this deployment so we could have a nice block leave vacation.
Let's see.. What else?
Jack has worms =(. I took him to the vet yesterday to get his annual shots and found out he has whipworms. Not a good thing. But not to worry, he has meds and heartworm prevention which will prevent him from getting worms after he's finished his medicine.
I have a lot to do before DH comes home. I need to tan (yes I actually have to put forth effort to make this happen), find a nice top for homecoming, buy heels to go with my birthday dress and my cocktail dress for DH and I's fancy dinner in Vegas, workout (somehow I'll manage this despite my ruptured disc), and get my hair done.
Which reminds me… I booked my Japanese Straightening for July 16 with the owner of Lee's Salon, and I'm having my hair highlighted/ lowlighted at the same salon on July 30. Super excited!
Oh and I have started a new series. As I have mentioned before, I am a HUGE fan of Karen Marie Moning's Fever Series and of Karen Marie Moning herself. I have even joined her message board to find other KMM fans such as myself.
Through their recommendations, I have found Ilona Andrew's Kate Daniel Series. It is such a great series. From every review I've read, the first book Magic Bites, was the slowest of all of the books throughout the series. It has been unanimous among readers that the series continues to get better and better with each book.
Since I read Magic Bites and enjoyed it, I'm excited to read the rest of the books. It is similar to KMM's Fever Series in that it is Urban Fantasy and the dynamic between the Hero and Heroine is amazing! I cannot wait to see how their relationship (which is more of a tolerate/hate relationship at the moment) progresses.
I'm very happy to find another series/author that really knows how to bring realism to a fictional relationship, and create characters that readers can fall in love with. That is what made KMM's Fever Series phenomenal.
I am happy to announce that everything is back on track now. I have booked our flight and hotel for Vegas!!! Wooooo! We will be staying at The Signature at MGM Grand in a one bedroom suite! I cannot wait, I'm so excited =D. And it was very inexpensive (due to a promotion that reduced our room rate by 20%). Sooo glad I put forth the effort to save a bunch of money during this deployment so we could have a nice block leave vacation.
Let's see.. What else?
Jack has worms =(. I took him to the vet yesterday to get his annual shots and found out he has whipworms. Not a good thing. But not to worry, he has meds and heartworm prevention which will prevent him from getting worms after he's finished his medicine.
I have a lot to do before DH comes home. I need to tan (yes I actually have to put forth effort to make this happen), find a nice top for homecoming, buy heels to go with my birthday dress and my cocktail dress for DH and I's fancy dinner in Vegas, workout (somehow I'll manage this despite my ruptured disc), and get my hair done.
Which reminds me… I booked my Japanese Straightening for July 16 with the owner of Lee's Salon, and I'm having my hair highlighted/ lowlighted at the same salon on July 30. Super excited!
Oh and I have started a new series. As I have mentioned before, I am a HUGE fan of Karen Marie Moning's Fever Series and of Karen Marie Moning herself. I have even joined her message board to find other KMM fans such as myself.
Through their recommendations, I have found Ilona Andrew's Kate Daniel Series. It is such a great series. From every review I've read, the first book Magic Bites, was the slowest of all of the books throughout the series. It has been unanimous among readers that the series continues to get better and better with each book.
Since I read Magic Bites and enjoyed it, I'm excited to read the rest of the books. It is similar to KMM's Fever Series in that it is Urban Fantasy and the dynamic between the Hero and Heroine is amazing! I cannot wait to see how their relationship (which is more of a tolerate/hate relationship at the moment) progresses.
I'm very happy to find another series/author that really knows how to bring realism to a fictional relationship, and create characters that readers can fall in love with. That is what made KMM's Fever Series phenomenal.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
DOM Check!!
**Drum roll**
300!!!!
300 days since DH officially left our home for an entirely too long deployment. 300 days since I've seen him walk through the front door after work. 300 days since I've had to wake up at 0500 (aka: way too early) to take him to work. 300 days since I've completely relaxed. 300 days that I've had to live alone, sleep alone, eat alone, and do everything without my other half.
I've waited for this moment for 300 days and I can't believe it's actually here. This (besides homecoming) is the biggest milestone in the deployment.
Goodbye quarter mark, goodbye halfway mark, goodbye three-quarters mark. Hello finish line!
300!!!!
300 days since DH officially left our home for an entirely too long deployment. 300 days since I've seen him walk through the front door after work. 300 days since I've had to wake up at 0500 (aka: way too early) to take him to work. 300 days since I've completely relaxed. 300 days that I've had to live alone, sleep alone, eat alone, and do everything without my other half.
I've waited for this moment for 300 days and I can't believe it's actually here. This (besides homecoming) is the biggest milestone in the deployment.
Goodbye quarter mark, goodbye halfway mark, goodbye three-quarters mark. Hello finish line!
Monday, May 16, 2011
I've Caught the Fever
And no I'm not sick.
It's the fever series by Karen Marie Moning. I've always been a big fan of hers as a romance author, but this series blew me away! I am officially addicted. I fear that no other series/ novel will ever compare. I've been spoiled by the best.
She says she's coming out with another series that features the fever world and I am soooo excited about that. I don't know what I'd do if I never got to "see" those characters again in another story.
Anyway, aside from my newest obsession, I have other good news…
We've got a homecoming window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that we've got a homecoming window? Yes, that's correct, deployments really do end!
I won't tell you what the window is, just rest assured that it is in the not-so-distant future. With the days flying as they are with my renewed obsession of reading, DH will be home in NO time. I honestly never imagined being at this place. I know I've expressed my astonishment before, but actually getting an email with a [relative] homecoming date is still so amazing to me.
I also plan to go to my mom's tomorrow for a few weeks. By the time I come back, I will have a very short amount of time before DH comes home.
Oh happy day!
It's the fever series by Karen Marie Moning. I've always been a big fan of hers as a romance author, but this series blew me away! I am officially addicted. I fear that no other series/ novel will ever compare. I've been spoiled by the best.
She says she's coming out with another series that features the fever world and I am soooo excited about that. I don't know what I'd do if I never got to "see" those characters again in another story.
Anyway, aside from my newest obsession, I have other good news…
We've got a homecoming window!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention that we've got a homecoming window? Yes, that's correct, deployments really do end!
I won't tell you what the window is, just rest assured that it is in the not-so-distant future. With the days flying as they are with my renewed obsession of reading, DH will be home in NO time. I honestly never imagined being at this place. I know I've expressed my astonishment before, but actually getting an email with a [relative] homecoming date is still so amazing to me.
I also plan to go to my mom's tomorrow for a few weeks. By the time I come back, I will have a very short amount of time before DH comes home.
Oh happy day!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Why, hello there May
A lot has happened in the past two weeks (when doesn't a lot happen in two weeks?)
DH and I tried to get him home on Emergency Leave for my surgery, but it was denied because my condition is not life threatening. Yes it is disappointing, but what can ya do?
So I have rescheduled surgery for mid-September. This will give DH plenty of time to come home and it should be during his block leave. My back does hurt a lot still, but I can survive a few more months until he comes home for good.
Speaking of coming home for good…
We are in the home stretch of this deployment! 80% done!! W00t!!! And no this is not my attempt at cheating on my DOM to convince myself that the end is closer than it really is. DOM really does say 80% =D
We only have X amount of months before he comes home. And by X, I mean a very small single digit number.
I also finished my first year of college with a 3.26 GPA. Not as good as I had hoped, but as long as I keep it above a 3.0, I should have no problem getting into Grad school.
So here it goes… The calendar for the remaining months of this deployment.
May: Going home to watch the foals be born on my stepdad's farm. This should be very exciting as there are still two more mares that are going to deliver babies in the next couple of months.
June: Spend half of the time at my mom's and the second half at home. The second half will be time for me to prepare myself for DH's homecoming. Hair, nails, working out, etc.
July: Last month of this deployment. I will probably spend most of this time dancing, freaking out, smiling, and grocery shopping.
August: Relaxing for the first time in 12 months.
September: New Jersey, Vegas, and surgery. A pretty exciting month =)
May has always been the epitome of the end for me. It represents the final season of this deployment, the end of school, and the home stretch. Everything after May seems minuscule in comparison to what I've already been through.
It still amazes me that it's May. For months I dreamed of May. In October I felt that May would never come. Even in February I felt that May was just a distant goal that would never truly be accomplished. Well here it is...
I made it. WE made it.
DH and I tried to get him home on Emergency Leave for my surgery, but it was denied because my condition is not life threatening. Yes it is disappointing, but what can ya do?
So I have rescheduled surgery for mid-September. This will give DH plenty of time to come home and it should be during his block leave. My back does hurt a lot still, but I can survive a few more months until he comes home for good.
Speaking of coming home for good…
We are in the home stretch of this deployment! 80% done!! W00t!!! And no this is not my attempt at cheating on my DOM to convince myself that the end is closer than it really is. DOM really does say 80% =D
We only have X amount of months before he comes home. And by X, I mean a very small single digit number.
I also finished my first year of college with a 3.26 GPA. Not as good as I had hoped, but as long as I keep it above a 3.0, I should have no problem getting into Grad school.
So here it goes… The calendar for the remaining months of this deployment.
May: Going home to watch the foals be born on my stepdad's farm. This should be very exciting as there are still two more mares that are going to deliver babies in the next couple of months.
June: Spend half of the time at my mom's and the second half at home. The second half will be time for me to prepare myself for DH's homecoming. Hair, nails, working out, etc.
July: Last month of this deployment. I will probably spend most of this time dancing, freaking out, smiling, and grocery shopping.
August: Relaxing for the first time in 12 months.
September: New Jersey, Vegas, and surgery. A pretty exciting month =)
May has always been the epitome of the end for me. It represents the final season of this deployment, the end of school, and the home stretch. Everything after May seems minuscule in comparison to what I've already been through.
It still amazes me that it's May. For months I dreamed of May. In October I felt that May would never come. Even in February I felt that May was just a distant goal that would never truly be accomplished. Well here it is...
I made it. WE made it.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Updates, Updates, Updates
Alright, it's only been two weeks since I last posted, but a lot has happened!
First, my friends got their husbands back from deployment. Yay for them! Homecoming was awesome and I was more excited than they were (seriously). I can't wait until my homecoming.
I also finished all of my school work for the year! Woooo!!! All I have to do is take 3 finals during this week and I'm free for 4 months!
I also had my appointment with my spine specialist for my re-evaluation after 6 weeks of physical therapy. Since physical therapy didn't help at all, my doctor and I have decided to go along with surgery. Surgery is scheduled for mid-May. I have done my research and the surgery itself isn't too too bad. I'm not scared now, but I'm sure I will be when I'm actually lying in the operating room. That is, IF surgery happens right now.
IF is a big word. I will go along with surgery if, and only if DH is allowed emergency leave to come home. He won't be here for the actual surgery, sadly, but he will be here to help me post-operation. IF he is allowed to come home.
The reason I say that I will only go along with surgery if DH is allowed emergency leave is because I am essentially helpless for the first week or two following surgery. I'm sorry, but I do not want anyone besides my husband to have to bathe me. So if he is not allowed leave, I will simply have to reschedule for block leave once he's home for good. This is not exactly ideal as I am in a lot of pain right now, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I am awaiting on the hospital to call me to confirm the surgery date, and the hospital is waiting on Tricare to confirm the date. When I was waiting on confirmation for my wisdom teeth extraction, it took a matter of a few hours for them to get back to me. It's been 4 days.
So I called Tricare. Apparently they haven't received any of my paperwork. Then I called the hospital and am waiting for them to return my phone call so I can figure out why on earth they haven't sent Tricare any of my paperwork yet. Sigh…
Once I get the confirmation, I need to simply take my doctor's note (that he wrote up specifically for this purpose) to Rear D and have a message sent to DH's commander so that he can decide if he is going to allow my husband emergency leave for my surgery.
IF he is allowed emergency leave, I will get to see my husband VERY soon! Yayyy!!!! If not, I'll still get to see my husband fairly soon.
I'm contemplating calling the hospital back. It's only been 30 minutes, but it doesn't take that long to return someone's phone call =)
Aaaand DOM has recently hit 75% done =D
Ah yes, the wonderful world of the Army. Can I checkout now?
First, my friends got their husbands back from deployment. Yay for them! Homecoming was awesome and I was more excited than they were (seriously). I can't wait until my homecoming.
I also finished all of my school work for the year! Woooo!!! All I have to do is take 3 finals during this week and I'm free for 4 months!
I also had my appointment with my spine specialist for my re-evaluation after 6 weeks of physical therapy. Since physical therapy didn't help at all, my doctor and I have decided to go along with surgery. Surgery is scheduled for mid-May. I have done my research and the surgery itself isn't too too bad. I'm not scared now, but I'm sure I will be when I'm actually lying in the operating room. That is, IF surgery happens right now.
IF is a big word. I will go along with surgery if, and only if DH is allowed emergency leave to come home. He won't be here for the actual surgery, sadly, but he will be here to help me post-operation. IF he is allowed to come home.
The reason I say that I will only go along with surgery if DH is allowed emergency leave is because I am essentially helpless for the first week or two following surgery. I'm sorry, but I do not want anyone besides my husband to have to bathe me. So if he is not allowed leave, I will simply have to reschedule for block leave once he's home for good. This is not exactly ideal as I am in a lot of pain right now, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I am awaiting on the hospital to call me to confirm the surgery date, and the hospital is waiting on Tricare to confirm the date. When I was waiting on confirmation for my wisdom teeth extraction, it took a matter of a few hours for them to get back to me. It's been 4 days.
So I called Tricare. Apparently they haven't received any of my paperwork. Then I called the hospital and am waiting for them to return my phone call so I can figure out why on earth they haven't sent Tricare any of my paperwork yet. Sigh…
Once I get the confirmation, I need to simply take my doctor's note (that he wrote up specifically for this purpose) to Rear D and have a message sent to DH's commander so that he can decide if he is going to allow my husband emergency leave for my surgery.
IF he is allowed emergency leave, I will get to see my husband VERY soon! Yayyy!!!! If not, I'll still get to see my husband fairly soon.
I'm contemplating calling the hospital back. It's only been 30 minutes, but it doesn't take that long to return someone's phone call =)
Aaaand DOM has recently hit 75% done =D
Ah yes, the wonderful world of the Army. Can I checkout now?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Hello April!
One more month down in this awful deployment. For some reason, March decided to take its sweet time moving along. However, I am happy to announce that I am still alive and chugging along.
A lot happened in DH's world as well as mine and March just wasn't that great of a month, but it's in the past so let's move on shall we?
School is going well. This is officially the last month of school! W00t!!
Physical therapy is going ok. It's not offering me the relief I thought it would. It's looking like surgery is becoming more and more a possibility. The good news is, physical therapy has taught me spine-safe exercises and postures that I can use for the rest of my life.
The rest of this deployment (which continues to shrink as we speak) is carefully marked with things to help speed the remaining time along.
April: My friends' homecoming for their husbands. This is exciting for them, but I'll definitely be attending the homecoming ceremony to offer emotional support and just enjoy being in a room full of love. This is also the last month of school. Less than 3 assignments per class left!
May: I'll be going to Texas with my friends on their block leave. This should be exciting since I'm going with one of my best friends and I've never been to Texas. I may have mentioned this before, but I plan on moving their when DH ETSs so it would be nice to see the area I plan on moving to =P.
June: My Texas trip will last until the end of May and then June will be only a week away. I'll be going to my mom's house and my dad will be visiting sometime this month. I haven't seen him in 4 years so that is very exciting! I'll also be getting my hair done, nails done, etc for DH's homecoming =D!!
July: The last month of deployment!! Need I say more?
When I list the months like that, it doesn't seem so bad. If April hurries along, I'll be happy. In fact, if April, May, and June hurry along, I'll be even happier.
A lot happened in DH's world as well as mine and March just wasn't that great of a month, but it's in the past so let's move on shall we?
School is going well. This is officially the last month of school! W00t!!
Physical therapy is going ok. It's not offering me the relief I thought it would. It's looking like surgery is becoming more and more a possibility. The good news is, physical therapy has taught me spine-safe exercises and postures that I can use for the rest of my life.
The rest of this deployment (which continues to shrink as we speak) is carefully marked with things to help speed the remaining time along.
April: My friends' homecoming for their husbands. This is exciting for them, but I'll definitely be attending the homecoming ceremony to offer emotional support and just enjoy being in a room full of love. This is also the last month of school. Less than 3 assignments per class left!
May: I'll be going to Texas with my friends on their block leave. This should be exciting since I'm going with one of my best friends and I've never been to Texas. I may have mentioned this before, but I plan on moving their when DH ETSs so it would be nice to see the area I plan on moving to =P.
June: My Texas trip will last until the end of May and then June will be only a week away. I'll be going to my mom's house and my dad will be visiting sometime this month. I haven't seen him in 4 years so that is very exciting! I'll also be getting my hair done, nails done, etc for DH's homecoming =D!!
July: The last month of deployment!! Need I say more?
When I list the months like that, it doesn't seem so bad. If April hurries along, I'll be happy. In fact, if April, May, and June hurry along, I'll be even happier.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Finally!
Finally another good day!
Today was fantastic. The weather was perfect. 70 degrees, with a nice breeze. I took Jack for a walk with Monica while she walked her little dog, Baby. Afterwards, Jack and Baby played in her backyard and cracked us up with their crazy antics.
I've become very close to Monica and Lori and I finally feel like I have a best friend again. I've had plenty of close friends, but it's been a long time since I've had that friend that makes me feel like I'm in High School again. That kind of friend where you practically live at their house, and do everything together. It's been a long time and I'm so happy that I have that again.
In 1.5 weeks my DOM will read 75% =O. I know, I can't believe it either. 75%??? How can that be? It's been a long time coming, but I'm just now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Could this deployment REALLY be ending?!
In other less exciting news, I've been going to physical therapy a lot. I'm getting a great workout while I'm there, but my back is starting to hurt worse. I'm not quite sure if this is normal, or if I'm doing something wrong, but it's starting to discourage me. I'm almost in as much pain as I was when DH left after R&R. It was so bad that I had to go to the ER to get a prescription for Vicodin. I hope it doesn't get that bad again. Oh well, I have many more PT visits so hopefully it will only get better from here.
DH has been doing well too, surprisingly. There's a part of me that expects him to be miserable all of the time, and I'm surprised when he's not. I don't want him to be miserable, but I'm just surprised how much he can put up with and still be ok.
I've got a lot of homework to do tomorrow, but I'm not stressing over it. Soon school will be over, and with that, the end of this deployment!
Today was fantastic. The weather was perfect. 70 degrees, with a nice breeze. I took Jack for a walk with Monica while she walked her little dog, Baby. Afterwards, Jack and Baby played in her backyard and cracked us up with their crazy antics.
I've become very close to Monica and Lori and I finally feel like I have a best friend again. I've had plenty of close friends, but it's been a long time since I've had that friend that makes me feel like I'm in High School again. That kind of friend where you practically live at their house, and do everything together. It's been a long time and I'm so happy that I have that again.
In 1.5 weeks my DOM will read 75% =O. I know, I can't believe it either. 75%??? How can that be? It's been a long time coming, but I'm just now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Could this deployment REALLY be ending?!
In other less exciting news, I've been going to physical therapy a lot. I'm getting a great workout while I'm there, but my back is starting to hurt worse. I'm not quite sure if this is normal, or if I'm doing something wrong, but it's starting to discourage me. I'm almost in as much pain as I was when DH left after R&R. It was so bad that I had to go to the ER to get a prescription for Vicodin. I hope it doesn't get that bad again. Oh well, I have many more PT visits so hopefully it will only get better from here.
DH has been doing well too, surprisingly. There's a part of me that expects him to be miserable all of the time, and I'm surprised when he's not. I don't want him to be miserable, but I'm just surprised how much he can put up with and still be ok.
I've got a lot of homework to do tomorrow, but I'm not stressing over it. Soon school will be over, and with that, the end of this deployment!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Perfect MilSpouse
I read a blog post yesterday that was so inspirational and true that it has forced me to be "real." Not that I'm not always honest, but sometimes I refrain from complaining on Facebook or my blog because I want to seem strong. I want everyone to know that I can handle this deployment without flinching. And just as the blog post said, I am infected with "Perfection."
The post basically said that everyone is trying so hard to be perfect all of the time. The perfect wife, mother, sister, daughter. We are infected with this need to have a perfect body, be perfectly generous and selfless, and independent. We do not allow ourselves to have weakness because that is imperfect.
I suffer from this disease called Perfection. I do not cry when I feel that I need to because I need to be perfectly strong. I do not complain because I need to be perfectly self-sufficient. I do not ask for help because I need to be perfectly independent. Well screw it. I'm not perfect.
And that is why I have decided to write this post. I am going to complain about life because I'm not perfect and sometimes I need to rant about things.
I have not spoken to DH in 7 days. It is a short amount of time compared to others who have gone months, but right now I do not care. It bothers me, a lot. I have a lot to tell him. I really want to tell him about the doctor appointment I had a few days ago about my back because this is something that has plagued me for two years. I want to tell him about school and how nervous I am about midterms. I want to tell him about all of the activities I've been doing lately, and I want to know what he's been doing. I find myself losing my optimism right around day 6 of not talking to him. I should be stronger, but I guess I'm not. I've been taking care of myself, our house, our dog, my school, our finances, our computers, our car, and our life for so long that I have forgotten what it feels like to have help.
I can handle most things by myself and enjoy doing so, but sometimes I want help. His computer in particular has frustrated me because that is something he can do, and I can't (well I guess I can now). It takes me 10x longer to figure things out and I do not have hours upon hours to try and fix a computer and its corresponding devices. It's just a computer, but it symbolizes his absence. I feel his absence most strongly when I'm dealing with that because that is something he should be doing.
We only have less than a handful of months until this deployment ends. I know that I can handle it. It's just days like today that make me hate D more than usual.
Below is the post I was referring to. I urge everyone to read it.
The disease called "Perfection"
The post basically said that everyone is trying so hard to be perfect all of the time. The perfect wife, mother, sister, daughter. We are infected with this need to have a perfect body, be perfectly generous and selfless, and independent. We do not allow ourselves to have weakness because that is imperfect.
I suffer from this disease called Perfection. I do not cry when I feel that I need to because I need to be perfectly strong. I do not complain because I need to be perfectly self-sufficient. I do not ask for help because I need to be perfectly independent. Well screw it. I'm not perfect.
And that is why I have decided to write this post. I am going to complain about life because I'm not perfect and sometimes I need to rant about things.
I have not spoken to DH in 7 days. It is a short amount of time compared to others who have gone months, but right now I do not care. It bothers me, a lot. I have a lot to tell him. I really want to tell him about the doctor appointment I had a few days ago about my back because this is something that has plagued me for two years. I want to tell him about school and how nervous I am about midterms. I want to tell him about all of the activities I've been doing lately, and I want to know what he's been doing. I find myself losing my optimism right around day 6 of not talking to him. I should be stronger, but I guess I'm not. I've been taking care of myself, our house, our dog, my school, our finances, our computers, our car, and our life for so long that I have forgotten what it feels like to have help.
I can handle most things by myself and enjoy doing so, but sometimes I want help. His computer in particular has frustrated me because that is something he can do, and I can't (well I guess I can now). It takes me 10x longer to figure things out and I do not have hours upon hours to try and fix a computer and its corresponding devices. It's just a computer, but it symbolizes his absence. I feel his absence most strongly when I'm dealing with that because that is something he should be doing.
We only have less than a handful of months until this deployment ends. I know that I can handle it. It's just days like today that make me hate D more than usual.
Below is the post I was referring to. I urge everyone to read it.
The disease called "Perfection"
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Dear Deployment, I Hate You
First, the bad news. I have been beyond stressed the past week or so. DH has gotten screwed over time and time again by his CoC and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of seeing him stress out, I'm tired of him getting no free time at all, I'm tired of him getting sick because they dont believe in giving anybody a break. I'm tired of his CoC being sadistic asses (to put it nicely). I know this all sounds pretty dramatic, but I promise I wouldn't make a big deal out of nothing. I wish so much that I did not have any of this to worry about. I wish more than anything that he was stationed elsewhere so he could live out his deployment at coffee shops and warm showers. But that is just not the case…
Many husbands shield their spouses from all of this stress and worry. They are essentially ignorant of the crap they live through and deal with on a daily basis, and I think that's perfectly fine. Ignorance is bliss. As much as I want to be DH's outlet and someone he can rant to, it's wearing on me. I feel like I am shouldering his stress as well as mine. The difference between his stress and mine is, I can't do anything about his stress.
I feel so weak. I'm supposed to be able to carry my stress and his. I am supposed to be there to provide an outlet and emotional/ moral support, and I'm having a hard time doing that. It's hard to be uplifting when you yourself don't feel very optimistic. However, I'm trying to find things to be positive about to give me another boost. Hopefully that will sustain me for the rest of the deployment.
None of this would be so bad if I wasn't already so stressed out about school. In fact, I could handle one or the other. School or DH. Not both. But I guess I can handle both because that's what I'm doing right now. I can't say I'll be sane afterwards, but I'll survive.
Now for the good news. We're over 50% done with this deployment, and I got a 92% on my Popular Music (Popular Music History, more like) quiz =)
Now for the good news. We're over 50% done with this deployment, and I got a 92% on my Popular Music (Popular Music History, more like) quiz =)
In the words of Robert Frost, "it goes on."
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Great Minds Think Alike
So one of my fellow Army wife friends chooses a word for each year. Instead of a new year's resolution, it's a word that encompasses the coming year. As I was reading one of her posts about 2010's word of the year, I started thinking what word might fit for me.
The word that came to mind was patience. This choice was easy considering that DH will still be gone for most of the year. I thought, "Alright, patience works. I'm going to need a lot of that in 2011." How right I was.
As I was catching up on her blog (see My Blog List), I was reminded of the word of the year. It's funny how many times I am going to need patience this year. Today I was struggling with the fear of inadequacy in regards to training Rocky. He isn't stubborn, but there are certain things (such as chewing on things he's not supposed to) that he's taking a little longer to learn. Yes I know I've only had him a week lol. I never said I was patient. It's just funny how I was reminded of my choice of word on the day that I was lacking patience the most. I'll have to remember this for the rest of this year. With Rocky's training and DH being gone 75% of 2011, I'm going to need it.
And it just so happens that this friend of mine chose Patience as her word as well. I guess great minds think alike.
The word that came to mind was patience. This choice was easy considering that DH will still be gone for most of the year. I thought, "Alright, patience works. I'm going to need a lot of that in 2011." How right I was.
As I was catching up on her blog (see My Blog List), I was reminded of the word of the year. It's funny how many times I am going to need patience this year. Today I was struggling with the fear of inadequacy in regards to training Rocky. He isn't stubborn, but there are certain things (such as chewing on things he's not supposed to) that he's taking a little longer to learn. Yes I know I've only had him a week lol. I never said I was patient. It's just funny how I was reminded of my choice of word on the day that I was lacking patience the most. I'll have to remember this for the rest of this year. With Rocky's training and DH being gone 75% of 2011, I'm going to need it.
And it just so happens that this friend of mine chose Patience as her word as well. I guess great minds think alike.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Exhaustion at its Finest
Rocky and I have been together for a total of 36 hours now. Boy oh boy have these past 36 hours worn me out. It's not that he's super active, he actually sleeps a lot during the day. It's that he wakes up every three hours at night to go out. I understand he can't hold it that long and he's really young, that's not a problem. And besides that, he did pretty well for the first night. But regardless of how well he did or why he woke me up so often, I'm still tired lol.
It was strange actually waking up before noon this morning though. I haven't seen the early morning dawn for quite some time (approx 5 months) and this was a nice change of pace, even if I was very tired.
He's also teething and trying to teach him bite inhibition and what is appropriate to bite and not bite is the most tedious job. He's done VERY well at potty training. He goes potty immediately when I take him out, and he did pretty well last night sleeping in his little box. It's just this biting thing. However, I've done a bit of reading and I have a new strategy lol. I may not have been teaching him the proper way for the past day, but I'm about to change that. It's a little tiring right now, but I'm determined to work hard at this so that I have a well-behaved dog in 6 months or so.
I really think Rocky is going to help me get through this deployment. Instead of staying up all night waiting for DH, or sitting around feeling lonely, I take care of Rocky. Instead of counting down the days until we are at 50% or 75%, I count the weeks until Rocky gets his next shots, or goes to puppy class, or is able to go for walks with me. I'm very optimistic about all of this. I really think he's going to help me get through this last stretch of the deployment.
Speaking of deployment, DH got to see Rocky via Skype today! It's a bit sad that he can't be here to share in his puppy days, but Rocky will still be fairly young when DH gets home.
Let's hope this night offers me a little more rest.
It was strange actually waking up before noon this morning though. I haven't seen the early morning dawn for quite some time (approx 5 months) and this was a nice change of pace, even if I was very tired.
He's also teething and trying to teach him bite inhibition and what is appropriate to bite and not bite is the most tedious job. He's done VERY well at potty training. He goes potty immediately when I take him out, and he did pretty well last night sleeping in his little box. It's just this biting thing. However, I've done a bit of reading and I have a new strategy lol. I may not have been teaching him the proper way for the past day, but I'm about to change that. It's a little tiring right now, but I'm determined to work hard at this so that I have a well-behaved dog in 6 months or so.
I really think Rocky is going to help me get through this deployment. Instead of staying up all night waiting for DH, or sitting around feeling lonely, I take care of Rocky. Instead of counting down the days until we are at 50% or 75%, I count the weeks until Rocky gets his next shots, or goes to puppy class, or is able to go for walks with me. I'm very optimistic about all of this. I really think he's going to help me get through this last stretch of the deployment.
Speaking of deployment, DH got to see Rocky via Skype today! It's a bit sad that he can't be here to share in his puppy days, but Rocky will still be fairly young when DH gets home.
Let's hope this night offers me a little more rest.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Hello 2011, Goodbye 2010
So I found out from two different sources that DH will be coming home a month early. It was actually in writing that the date had moved up. Yayyy!!!! This is fantastic news. I really hope it's true.
Sooo this means DOM has moved up from 41% to 45%. In 2 weeks I'll be at 50%. Weeee!!!
I also received news that a bunch of guys are going to NY and Vegas with us for block leave. The more the merrier! I have a feeling this year is going to be great!
Bring it on 2011!!!
Sooo this means DOM has moved up from 41% to 45%. In 2 weeks I'll be at 50%. Weeee!!!
I also received news that a bunch of guys are going to NY and Vegas with us for block leave. The more the merrier! I have a feeling this year is going to be great!
Bring it on 2011!!!
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
DOM Check!
The Donut of Misery says…
150 Days - 41% !!! W00t!!
Soon I'll be at 200 days and on the downhill slope of this deployment! <3
150 Days - 41% !!! W00t!!
Soon I'll be at 200 days and on the downhill slope of this deployment! <3
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